MY FIRST TIME

During my first two semesters at college I kept seeing this beautiful young lady on campus; at the service counter in the Spartan bookstore and even at some concerts I went to. I was enthralled. She was drop-dead gorgeous. Her face occupied my dreams and fantasies for days to come. I was instantly hot over her the first time I saw her and I'd linger in that part of the store whenever I saw her there. She had long, full dark brown hair down to the top of her ass.

On June 20, 1976, my buddy and I went to see a concert in L.A. I spotted this beauty there walking down the aisle in front of us.

“Bink, see that girl with the long, brown hair? Do you know her?”

“Yeah,” he said. “She’s gorgeous. She works in the book store.”

The next day, I started working at the Creation Dock Seafood Exchange restaurant in the touristy part of town. While cleaning up on my first day (I was hired as groundskeeper/janitor/prep cook), this same radiant woman walked by me and said, “Hi.” Needless to say, I was astonished that she worked there, as fate would have it.

I watched her working at the waitress station, from my peephole in the kitchen. I lingered at my tasks a bit until I had a chance to catch her eye again and I took my shot. Getting ballsy with a beautiful woman for the first time in my life. “How’d you like that concert in L.A. last night?”

“How do you know I went?” she asked, blown away that I’d noticed her.

“I never forget a pretty face.” I was shocked as the words flowed gracefully, if horridly clichéd, from my lips. I found out her name was Jill and I helped her bus some tables when she was busy.

While I was on break, eating lunch in the empty bar, she came up and bought me a beer. When I told her how old I was, she was again, surprised. She thought I was her age (I was 19). She was a beautiful, experienced, seductive 23-year-old. Half-Thai, half-Irish, her family from Oregon.

The next day, she asked if I wanted to get a six-pack and hangout after work. Well, yeah but she'd have to buy because I was only 19. We sat in my car at the marina and got to know each other a bit. I was entranced.

We’d visit over lunch for about a week, getting to know each other pretty quickly. Then one day after work, she came over to my apartment and went swimming for a while. She threw her arms around me at one point and I sprouted a tremendous hard-on. She later told me that from that point on she decided to “scheme on” me. If I would’ve been more cognizant of that fact, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. I was really in awe and intimidated by the insanely beautiful girl.

One evening shortly thereafter, I was half-in-the-bag and playing guitar in my bedroom with my roomie and Jill showed up. She said that she had gotten into a fight with her boyfriend, Rex, who she lived with in the next beach town up the coast about three miles. She asked if she could stay with me. Of course, I was thrilled, she didn’t have to ask twice. She tossed a brown paper sack at me that held a fresh pair of panties and a toothbrush. Traveling light. I loved a girl with a plan but I wasn't quite ready for her directness. I was not used to this at all but I would sure try!

This first night she fell asleep (she was buzzed when she got there) and I slept totally naked with a woman for the first time in my life. Let me rephrase that: I spent the night in bed naked with a naked woman for the first time. I did not sleep. I laid wide awake, staring at her beautiful sleeping face, smelling her hair, looking at her miraculous dark brown nipples and marveled at her soft inner thighs wrapped over my legs. I will never forget those racing hours.

After that we started seeing each other after work everyday. It was a beautiful, sunny, blue day there outside my old Pinto where we'd sit outside in the liquor store parking lot watching the sailboats come into the harbor. By the time we had gone back for four more beers--each time the price changing, by the way, even the clerk was distracted by her smile-—she had told me her life story. She was having problems with Rex. She’d lived with him for over a year and they had been fighting for at least ten months. She was having thoughts of moving away from him. She asked if she could sleep with me when she was lonely and upset. Hell, yeah!

We got along grandly for a month or so, sneaking kisses in the bar or the kitchen at work, going farther in the walk-in fridge, almost making love. We'd swim and go to concerts. She finally moved away from Rex, to a place only two blocks away from me. He’d been treating her like shit, hitting her and she had had enough.

She was a tremendously sexual creature. She thrived on sex and all of its eccentricities. She liked to be extremely open in public. In other words, she would tease all day and make out all night. She used to enjoy being the initiator and the aggressor. Both of which, I was in dire need of and very acceptant of this new development in my life.

Jill would come over and jerk me off in the walk in closet while my friends were out in the front room. We’d roll around for hours, sucking face, rubbing all over each other. In our previous nights together, I’d gone down on her a couple of times and she'd always pull me up (I obviously had no idea what I was doing) but instead of telling me what she wanted, she'd pull me up to her mouth and say she wanted to lick her wetness off of my face. Her delicious pussy was the most incredibly gorgeous I have ever seen (and the first I had tasted). Her sparse black hair was as silky as anything I'd ever experienced. I was mesmerized.

She’d also gone down on me a couple of times before (did I mention the walk-in fridge at work?) but I was always SO nervous. So afraid, that I'd not know what to do that I had trouble staying erect when we'd get close to fucking. I thought that there was some secret that I didn’t know and was very afraid to be thought of as inexperienced (although I certainly was).

I was a nervous wreck. A virgin at 19. By this time, we had been around each other for a couple of months, fairly often, a couple of nights a week at least. But she had this louse of boyfriend and there was lots of confusion on both our parts. I just needed the big push to take the step. At times, we'd make the mistake of drinking way too much alcohol. I remember her saying, “Someday, we’re gonna have to not drink so much. Someday we’re gonna have to just fuck.” Gotcha. But, I was scared to death.

Finally, about the time school started back up in the fall, I got fed up with work and quit the restaurant. No more getting drunk with the boss after hours in the bar; no more free meals and no more Jill everyday. My college rock band was just forming and 4-5 nights a week we rehearsed inland about 20 miles away from the beach. With all the running around, we saw each other less and less.

In August, we attended a Crosby, Stills & Nash concert at the Arena. At one point, after she played with my cock, her hand in my pants up in our seats near the roof of the joint, she threw her arms around my neck and she asked me if I loved her. I didn’t know what to say. I'd never been asked this before. Of course, I thought I knew how I felt, but I was scared. She was still, sort of, with somebody else. I was still heartbroken from my first high school sweetheart. I was young and stupid, afraid of committing myself. I hedged a bit, dumb me.

She said, she found herself falling in love with me. I said that I really didn’t know, I was scared of being hurt again.

The music diffused the conversation and on the way home we were joking around and then I said something that set her off. It had started when she asked me what I was looking at as we drove home and a drunk girl with her tits hanging out walked out into the street and I had to slam on my brakes for her to stumble by.

“I had to stop for the road block,” I joked and she said, "So you wish I had bigger tits?" What? She had issues about her breast size and got pissed if I mentioned tits at all. She was picking a fight, I guess. She gave me the silent treatment all the way home.

She'd taken my comment personally and said she'd heard this shit all the time from Rex and that she was tired of feeling bad about herself. I think she was really pissed that I didn't answer her affirmatively earlier about being in love with her. I tried to explain that I wasn’t being malicious or even directing any tit comment at her, to no avail. She ran into my apartment and cranked the stereo up, started dancing and tuned me out for an hour.

A big wall went up and I got tired of trying to talk and being ignored so I got pissed and went into my room and moped. She eventually came in crying saying, “You don’t understand.”

Yes, I do. “No, you don’t.” and that pissed me off more. I went into the living room, running away from my anger. She followed me in, sat beside me. She finally wiped the tears from her eyes, the pain from her heart and she leaned to me and slid her hand over my crotch. Then she took my hand and lightly led me into the bedroom, an innocent, peaceful look on her face. We headed toward the first, and last, consummation of our love.

We had slept together, fooled around often but we had never yet made love. Though it was not due to the fact that we hadn’t had the opportunity or hadn’t tried.

Too many drinks and too many jokes. But that night, though I couldn't say it, we both discovered somehow that we loved one another and in hindsight it scared us both into defensive strategy.

She trying to justify her love for me with her dissolving relationship with this violent Rex guy. Me, trying to figure out if I was really in love since I was still pining for Joni and still blindly hopeful that Joni and I would work out somehow. Strange night…but then it happened.

Sliding down onto the bed, she enveloped me in her soft, warm legs. Undressing herself above me, her eyes never left mine. As she pulled her top up over her head, I saw her amazing child-like body. Her beautiful tiny breasts tipped by dark nipples, lengthening before my eyes as her long, thick dark brown hair brushed over them like clouds hiding a beautiful moon.

She told me to take off my shirt, as I did her eyes followed down my chest and she unbuckled my pants and pulled them down over my feet. She rubbed her dark, warm cunt over my stomach. Her pubic hair as soft, a rabbit pelt of black silk, thinly covering her wet pink sacred place. My belly soaked, rose and fell as she slid down on top of my engorged rod. Rolling together, I pressed my face up through her thick hair, trying to get eye to eye with her dark almondine crescents there in the cave of mane that fell on my shoulders and surrounded my head. Our lips met, her tongue darting into me in time with my cock between her legs. Our bodies melding into one.

She moaned like a wild cat, we rolled together onto the floor and I slipped underneath again for the pleasure of feeling her waist-length hair caress my shoulders and chest again, while she kissed my forehead and ears. The huge pillow on the floor was soft and spongy beneath us and as I rolled again, I felt her legs tighten and clinch behind my back. She was moving furiously, gasping for air and I thought she’d buck me off... On the edge, I moved faster, her fingers clawing at my ass. I collapsed in her arms and we lay satiated. In a little while she got up, stumbled to the bathroom in the hall and puked up the last three shots of cheap tequila and I half-hoped that wouldn’t be the normal reaction every time I made love in the future!

We woke sometime later, dawn was creeping through the plants in the windowsill. A big jet shook the glass pane as the first morning flight slipped out of town over our heads. I kissed her awake and as she moved against me, I slowly sunk my hips into her and we made slow, passionate morning love our lips never parting until we had both shivered the day awake.

I felt like a million pound weight had been lifted from my shoulders. She was my 1st real sex. Of course, even before that night I was lost and in love with her but still, held a fading torch for Joni back in my hometown.

After that, I never heard from her again. In a week or two, I heard Rex had convinced her to move back in with him. I couldn't call her house. My ex-boss wouldn't allow me in the restaurant since I'd quit on him. So when the fall semester started up I walked into the book store and asked for her. "She's not working this semester but I just saw her heading down the the beer garden."

I looked around but didn't see her so I sat at a table and began writing in my journal. A few minutes later, I heard her voice nearby.

"Pierce," she was sitting directly across the table from me. Looking radiant but sad. "I'm moving up to San Luis after this semester to live with my grandma for awhile. Rex is nuts and I couldn't stay in town with you. He'd find us and make our lives miserable. I'm so sorry."

I didn't know what to say. My mouth felt glued shut. There was a knot in my chest and I felt sick to my stomach. She stood up and kissed me on the lips, put her hand on my cheek and turned away. "Jill...thank you." She turned, smiling sadly and then I watched her walk away for what seemed like hours.