So here is the 2010 wrap-up...Things have still been going well this past year, not so much in quantity but in quality. In fact, if numbers of sexual experiences was the goal then this year has been shy of the past couple of year's sweat-o-meter. But if we are talking interesting and new situations then 2010 has had some definite high points...
* Miss Mary, my Exploratory Partner, came across country and moved in with me in Oct 2009. Platonic in only the strictest sense, in that we aren't "in a relationship" of any pedestrian or predictable definition. No strings other than honesty, communication, caring and respect...a tolerance for nakedness around the house, a steady hand when trimming my pubic hair (it's indeed a matter of trust with scissors literally a hair a way from the treasured yambag) and an ability to get things started in record time with our occasional shared partners. She is a fearless, giving and very sexy EXP. Having someone sleeping in the next room who preferred to hear the sounds of me jerking off as opposed to asking me to close the door when the urge hit me was a nice perk as well. And her occasional hops into my bed, fresh from a shower to lend a hand or just be there to watch me take advantage of myself in various and sundry ways was indeed a nice change of pace. She also liked to ask that I jerk off in front of her in the living room while she played solitaire on her laptop, and no, that's not what they are callin' it these days, she would literally play solitaire on her laptop. Seems she liked to push her level of concentration to its limits. Not to mention the astrological, stylistic, spiritual, experiential and intuitive dating advice she would give me when I headed out head full of hope and mind on some 'lil chippie who indulged me with an evening of company. A colorblind gigolo could ask for nothing more than someone to keep him from walking out of the door looking like a circus monkey fresh from the spin-art booth. She's only my treasured EXP, but my BRE (best roomie ever) as well.
* She began using the alias Chad whenever she felt in the dominant mood and we had a wonderful experience the first time when she put the huge 10" dildo down her tight jeans and pulled my head to her bulging crotch ordering me to "suck her off" and then in short order pushing me down onto the futon and taking me swiftly. That she dressed like a man and I could still feel her heaving breasts against my chest as she forced herself in and out of me was quite the turn on.
* Miss Mary and I also explored this year on occasion with her latest lesbian lover (threesome #5, foursome #2&3). More on these elsewhere but they would allow me to watch the two of them fuck, which I did on a few occasions sometimes standing over them with my cock in my hand. EXP and I also had a short threesome (trio #6 and quartet #2) in January with my #3 poly partner who finally began sexual relations with me after checking me out heavily late in 2009 and then putting me on the back burner until one of her regular partners was comfy with another new face/cock in the mix logistically. EXP's gf also showed up and watched me and my partner for awhile and then EXP and her gf laid down next to us and watched me go down on my partner. Fun, fun, fun. Only the start of a grand night of kink with poly #3 but also, more on this later.
* MORE DOMINANCE - my little poly girl #3, not only my first Latina but the tiniest partner I have ever had (4'11", 97 lbs), shared a wonderful evening of profound spanking. No sex, just ordering her to her knees and she would scramble to the corner and cower...and well, I won't give it all away but this was an evening dedicated to her pleasure via spanking and slapping and virtually hovering over her with focused intimidation. A wonderful chemistry. We were to revisit this behavior on occasion and it worked well for both of us. Can't wait until next time...
* FALLING HARD: I can's say that this was a first, but in the first month of the year I fell surprisingly fast and hard for a woman much younger than I. Me: 53, she: 28. And a stunner. Although, of course I was attracted physically, it was the cat and mouse game of exploring each others minds via chat, text, long late night phoners, drinks, dates music, and mostly helping her through a very trying time. In the end I felt used up as she needed too much of me and I was receiving less and less of what I needed from her. C'est la vie. The selfishness of youth tosses another ship onto the rocks drawn to the Siren's call.
* HAVE I MENTIONED MY LONG-TERM INTERNET-ONLY ROMANCE WITH A WOMAN FROM MY PREVIOUS TEEN YEARS? No? Well, I've probably been saving that up for a long post when and if we ever meet face-to-face. In a nutshell, about 4 years ago now I was approached on MySpace by a woman from my high school. We'd been next to each other in the yearbook all four years but had never spoken. She really didn't remember me but broke the ice, "Is that you next to me? You're kinda cute. Why didn't we know each other?"
Consequently, we got to know each other deeply very quickly. She and I both being the open types, we started out talking home town memories and catch-up and quite quickly the comfort levels grew and we found we were both basically kinky, sexy, flirty, verbal people with a ton in common and 3000 miles away from each other. Oh well, the phone sex was insane and we dreamed loud and even planned a possible tête-à-tête, a clandestine meeting or two which, alas, never came together. We fell apart during the past year, incommunicado over some misunderstanding needlessly trumped up to facilitate an easier and more drastic way of dealing with the uncertainty, the passion and the questions so far from each others' reality. By year's end. We have mended fences lately but are both careful to not ignite any flames we couldn't extinguish. I miss the full-on sexiness of our interactions tremendously. I miss the hope for more and the wonderful positivity of knowing I had found a like-minded soul blazing with endless possibility. I yearn for that feeling again before this life ends.
* 2009 had found me being frustrated with Adult Friend Finder, the adult dating site after a couple of years on. Having had no real connection with anyone of note, no dates, meetings etc. In the new year I decided to concentrate more on real-world dating, dancing and flirting which has been a boon. I bailed on AFF and saved some bread. I missed the surfing through wild and sexy profiles of people but not the constant posing and wild, goose chase atmosphere. I had earlier bailed on Extreme Restraints dating site (a variance of AFF) as being just to over-the-top for a nubile discovering his kink.
In short order though, I found FetLife. A free site for the BDSM community. Not a dating site, although people do hook up with exciting new folks there sometimes. More a way to plug into a community of people exploring the kinky side of life. From newbies, to part-timers, to those living the lifestyle 24/7 the site offers wide-ranging opportunities for exploring information, networking, photos, in-person local support groups, parties, etc for whatever proclivities, fetishes, fantasies you may have the desire to indulge in. Overall, my experience has been enlightening and people kind and really non-judgmental. I find the advice giving nature of the groups on the site receptive, generally warm, and not only informative but vastly entertaining. There, as in any forum, are always flamers and such but generally, it seems pretty acceptant and tolerant. I also haven't visited SLS (Swing Life Style) site all year. Once I realized that it was predominantly partner oriented and I wasn't in a full-time partnered situation any longer (my polyesque long-distance lovers aside), and that swinging was not really what I was interested in...i.e. just random sex with other people's partners...not that I've anything against that...but I've found my way into emotionally connected relationships that have an open-minded sexual perspective (the poly world) and it seems to satisfy the need for that love and connective commitments emotionally that only having a full-time partner can trump. But, I'm open for suggestion, if nothing else.
I've discovered in these last few post-divorce, playfully experimental years that I'd a) love a full-time relationship b) wouldn't be bad at dealing with it being an open relationship sexually if that was my partner(s)'s choice as well c) I am not of a naturally promiscuous character. Seeking intellectual, spiritual, emotional AND sexual connection. Granted, the odd romp in the hay or on the rack would not be frowned upon. And until that day, let the fun continue. I have been lucky to, overall, have spent the last 6 years vastly enjoying a more satisfying, enlightening and expanding sexual profile and palette and I'm ready for more.
* Also in 2010 I went to my first MUNCH. This was a monthly meeting of an area BDSM support group. Great people, 80 couples, getting together for fun, food, games, and ribald discussion of their shared interests. Just like a monthly meeting of car or bridge or knitting aficionados except the conversation might lean towards being handcuffed to a police cruiser by your partner dressed as a cop and violated on a deserted street late at night; a couple of hands of blackjack with the loser having to confess some deep dark fantasy; or a demonstration of someone doing needlework on a person's privates. Well, actually, this last thing would be more likely to take place in the privacy of a group party...
* Yes, EXP and I attended my first BDSM house party and I will post about this wildly, wonderful experience, I promise.
* Unfortunately, in my bicoastal running around I was hard pressed to become involved heavily in the POLY support group I joined in Philly. They have monthly meetings and seem like fun people but, sad to say, no time.
* It has also been a slow year for my practicing Taoist sexual techniques. Lack of partners being a major hindrance. But I continue to read Mantak Chia and search for an open-minded and spiritually oriented partner who would like to perhaps study westernized Tantric ideas and techniques.
* Ah, yes and I had my first MAN-LOVE experience of consequence. Again more on that in detail elsewhere. Let's just say, it involved a friend who I had been circling and he me for a few months, and an evening delivered with the help of my EXP and her partner that turned into a somewhat disappointing but also vastly exhilarating foursome for reasons you will be filled in on later.
* DANCING. Yes, dancing. I may have mentioned that I didn't dance until I was 48 years old See the archive for October 29, 2007 titled C'MON LET'S GO
and 2010 found me dancing almost weekly whenever one of my favorite bands were playing. So much sexy fun. * I also found out in 2010 that a pair of good married friends of mine have a DUNGEON in their basement. NIIIICE! In fact, they were at my first Munch and invited me to my first BDSM party. I still have not been to their home play room but plan on when I am next in their town.
* also in 2010, an acquaintance who recently leaped into the kink life, became first a pro dominatrix and then after meeting a new full-time partner, leaped into the kink performer realm. She is WAY more advanced than I and goes into kink that I'm not at all interested in exploring personally but that are so very fascinating and out of this world edgy. So much for having her give me a tied-down butt whoopin' (gifted from a good friend with voyeuristic tendencies) but maybe she'll be willing to get around to it...I also am hoping to learn more about shibari (artful Japanese rope bondage) and learn about suspension this year at the request of my tiny polygf #3.
* In fact, polygf #3 my tiny, spankable Latina is in reality, at present my polygf #1 since my former polygf #1 (Randi) is in celibate mode, concentrating on business, new house and hubby issues and my polygf #2 (don't let EXP hear me call her that...she allows only the definition of EXP/BRE/Miss Molly/Chad and nothing beyond to taint our ever fluctuating but always deeply connected intertwinings) is into a full-on lesbian relationship roomie mode and I have moved West. So for ease of description here at least I will keep the definitions as such until I figure something else out.
* Another first was a motel room MFM trio with polygf #3 and a bf of hers, the same who ws initially trepidatious about me joining her circle. It was a wonderful surprise for her and a last minute addition of moi! this also deserves more extrapolation which I will get to in another post. A wonderful and different evening.
* In reality, this year has found me more "single" than "poly". While I still define myself as "polyamorous" because I feel that that is how I am presently wired, my real-life situation is not that way. I am 3000 miles from my main sex partner (#3 and again she is married and I am one of 3 poly bfs so it get complicated thus numbering...hahaha) as well as my EXP. And while I see Randi (#1) once or twice a month living on this coast, we are currently platonic but flirty and in my present surroundings the opportunities to meet single women are few and far between. I have never stopped loving my three girls (oh, sounding so deluded and possessive in only the most honoring and appreciative, not clinging way, of course) and I wish every day one of them (okay, all of them) were here with me. Such is life.
* On the positive front, just before I left the East Coast I found myself in some wonderful if fleeting flirtations with a handful of amazing women...an incredibly beuatiful, soulful, smart and mysterious young black woman (24) and a way sexy dancer; a dark and evasively surprising curly haired olive-complected waitress (mid-20s) and super intelligent; a young gaggle of fans of my music (20s); a long-time acquaintance and earth-mama who likes to smooch and flirt and who takes on the problems of the neer-do-wells around her (40s); a woman I've dated who just wants to be friends who is quite possibly one of the most overtly sexy and flirty person I've ever met (how do you spell frustration? She's a sizzlin' 40); a vivacious school teacher gf of a friend who I am enamored with who is flirty, open-minded but finally committed to him just as we started getting acquainted (early 20s); a spectacular 20-something dance partner who is right there with my moves, plugged into and drawn to my sexuality and at times simply oozes connection, artsy, unique, real and earthy girl who calls me her "older guy fantasy", she's also in a relationship with a buddy; and unfortunately...all 3000 miles away. I keep in touch with them regularly through the popular social networks and tehy all seem anxious for me to visit as am I. So why am I hear, family health issues (older parents), job opportunities pegged to slow economy...So if someone tells you the economy shouldn't affect your sex life, think again.
* I also began, on my last visit East, a mentoring of sorts to a long-time acquaintance who had recently split with her BF and was anxious to stick her toe (and other more delicate parts) into the kink world. She asked advice, joined FetLife and with little instigation from me 3000 miles away, dove tits first into the local BDSM scene. She met a couple or two online including a pair who know my dungeon keeping friends, went to a munch and then a sexy party in Philly and has found a new side to herself. You go, Blondie!
So all in all we'll give 2010, Three big cocks out of five:
* But for me, it's BACK TO LAND OF NO PUSSIBILITIES. I am truly enjoying the solitude and fresh air but it will get old. I haven't flirted or danced in three months so I am concerned about losing my game. I may have to import some hotties from back east. Hmmm, not a bad idea.So in closing, I tell myself once again, that my motto really should be "QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY." Indeed.
