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I am so fucking exhilarated, frustrated, discombobulated I can’t tell you. I feel like I keep walking into walls that bend when my face hits them and I look at the imprint and the face staring back is yours. I want to touch, kiss, caress, spank, whip, suck, eat, bite, watch, smell, wax, hold, lick, fuck, rim, rape, cum on, piss on, tie up, fondle, surprise, kidnap, pinch, worship, spoil…YOU and be touched, kissed, caressed, spanked, whipped, sucked, eaten, bitten, waxed, held, licked, fucked, rimmed, raped, cum’d upon, pissed on, tied up, fondled, surprised, kidnapped, pinched, worshipped, spoiled…BY YOU. I want to sit across from you naked and not say a word until we both jump out of our skin and into a bucket next to the bed where our genetic slipstream coagulates into something not even I could resist on a tortilla.

It is like having the best Halloween outfit EVER and it pours rain, you have a cold, there’s a crime wave in your neighborhood and you aren’t allowed to trick OR treat or even go outside until next year when your outfit probably won’t fit you anymore.

BUT…I’m being calm…I’m accepting…meditating on my current moment…patient…enjoying the view from here…trying ever so hard not to stare at you, drooling like the dawg-boy I am…but when I do, I see me, but with better tits and much less hair…trying so incredibly hard to keep these enamored fantasies at bay, so close I can taste them but as distant as lightning flashing over the desert 30 miles away...trying to figure that it could be worse…I could be 3000 miles away sitting, cock in hand, wondering and dreaming…but perhaps that’s easier…trying to ignore the clock that ticks louder with each passing moment and thinking…'was life always this fucking ridiculous?'

Anyone ever put a piece of chocolate under your nose, touched it to your lips and then popped it into their mouth with a sly snicker…maybe even gave you a little kiss after slowly swirling that melting, heavenly ooze across their tongue and swallowing it down? And though you smell it, taste it, you want more...you wish you could’ve swallowed it whole when you had the chance.

Not envy, or jealousy of that piece of chocolate or that tongue…no, sheer unadulterated desire. And me, I luxuriate in the idea that each moment and conversation and thought of you is part of the process of discovery…your tongue in my ear, trying to break thru and suck on some succulent piece my mind; my fingers inside you, trying to reach up into your heart and feel its pulse racing in time with my own; our skin damp together trying to find out what makes these so like-minded souls, so fucking connected and unreachable at the same time. Just like our own selves are to us, touchable but just out of reach. We, who think we are closer than most in knowing ourselves, knowing who we really are and then, reflected in each other, we see radiant, sometimes enlightening, sometimes jarring bits, shards, and mirrored reflections of ourselves and want to know more.

You once said, “I think with you and I it would always just be about sex.” If that’s true, then I’ve fallen through some other kind of dream where words are colors and sounds taste blue and in that parallel universe all is explainable and all answers are mine to give. Oops. No deal. And at times I think, "Did I come 3000 miles to know less than I did before? To find freedom and temptation and impatience are all just the saw blade carving pieces out of the same jigsaw puzzle of daily existence or did I come out here just to get kinky or are they both slippery funhouse mirror versions of the same thing? Is the tenuous nature of our every waking moment just that simply defined? And perhaps the crapshoot of life is just that--a pre-destined, random slideshow over which there is no control, no rhyme, reason or rational, experiential explanation and an exceedingly incongruous but teasingly seductive soundtrack. “It ain’t why, why, why…it just is” or is it?

I see you on a high dive on the verge of a back flip into a BIG new pool of life and I see that the pool is indeed deep enough, enticing and warm enough and shimmering enough to seduce your desire for the unknown, for the challenge, for the adventure and I just hope you are a strong swimmer for the pool is an impetuous and tempting dream with a strong current. And as you spring up, soar into the air, suspended momentarily in the space between upward motion and downward plunge I want nothing so much as to be that water that envelopes you, that you pierce with your flailing sense of direction, but perhaps I am only destined to be the hot, bronzed lifeguard, package hanging left with one eye on the life preserver and the other on the edge of the pool just beyond which the wavering image of the arrow of your body flashes by…

Goodnight, my sweet muse.

~for Miss Mary, late night letter, written and sent 3:57am. July 11, 2008

FLIP THE SWITCH LETTERS #1: SISSY PIG/MISTRESS/SLUT/MASTER/BITCH/SLAVE

So you figure it out. All I can tell you is that my xxxploratory partner (EXP) and I are two flexible motherfuckers. We both like to switch roles. She is more experienced in the submissive role, me in the dominant in our previous relationships but we both feel like our real essence resides somewhere on the opposite side of our experiences. As “EXPs” one of our main focuses seems to have been to play on both sides to try and figure out where our preferences lie. So far, I think we both seem pretty happy getting the best (and worst-ouch) of both worlds.

Here is a sampling of some long distance correspondence. Seems I wrote some birthday emails for her which got sucked into cyberspace and she didn’t wind up getting them until later (I re-sent just them as the originals finally got through so she got double attention...mmm) So as in any good loving sub/dom relationship, we can find silly reasons for “punishment” anywhere…I’ll make her pay for doubting me…

Pierce:

OK so pretend you didn't get all of those birthday greetings (or were they emails that went missing?) I'd tried so hard to be the first to wish you HBD but of course I was a day early because I'M A FUCKIN' IDIOT.

But you know that and idiots can be more easily dominated, more easily convinced to do your bidding...I plead wondrous idiocy in the name of carnal pleasure....yee-yum-fuckin'-haw.

Happy B'day, baby.

XO---===>>>B



Miss Mary:

…But perhaps if you go into the bathroom right now and wash your hands clean of this horrendous sin…and then get down on your knees, freak..because that's where freaks should be…on their knees...and bend way over…because you are going to get a nice, hard (ok, telepathic) spanking from Miss Mary. One shiny red heel balanced on your spine to keep you still lest you flinch. Bad, baby, bad.
Swat.

Bad, Pierce, bad. Swat. What have we? You're wiggling your ass at me? Bad, Piercely, bad…what am I going to do with you? Swat. Swat. Swat. You know it didn't have to be this way…Miss Mary would have very much liked to have admired your cock tonight...yep, liked to have had it plump and ready for her tongue to roll it strong. She would have been happy to be the one on her knees backed up against the bathroom wall while you held her head strong and fucked her red, tired but still accommodating mouth, she would have loved to look up at you all innocent and coy while reaching for the your favorite latex penis (which I'm sure you packed for your trip) just in time for you to lube it with your drenching come and then Miss Mary would have liked to slide it oh so slowly into your pulsing ass ...

But no, ...no such rewards for bad boys who forget their Mistress.

Oh, well.. you did make quite an effort in your cover-up of the "missing missives" though. I almost believe you :)

You’re off the hook.

xoxo,

~M



Pierce:

I would never forget you Miss Mary. Please. Fuck me slowly Miss Mary. I’m sorry I sinned Miss Mary.
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
YAAAAAAAAAAAAOW
OH
WAIT
OW
HARDER PLEASE
YAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
STOP NO STOP IT
NO
MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE
MORE
FUCK
YOU BITCH that HURTS
ENOUGH
WATERMELON, FUCKER! WATERMELON...UH, SISSY PIG!
OK, UH THAT’S FUNNY TO YOU?
COME here, YES I’m pulling your hair, you mean little slut. Get over here. Let me see those tits. Take that off NOW. Pierce is in charge now. You have a problem with that? No? Good. I think you like being bad.
So you doubted my attention? You thought I forgot about you? Now you will pay for doubting me!
Good. Good. Now get down on your knees. Is that floor too cold? Too fucking bad, baby.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT?
OPEN YOUR MOUTH...
Yes. That’s right. You are being pierced yes, baby. Suck that big head, baby. I’ve been waiting for you to make me pay for being such a bad boy but sometimes you have to take a bit of your own medicine. Swallow that hard dick baby, now rub that wet cock all over your face. Yeah, that’s it.
Mmmm. Before I come baby, I’m going to pull your head back with a fistful of your hair and piss all over you. I want to see your face and soft neck and shoulders and those beautiful breasts that I dream about, all soaking wet baby. Ahhhhhhhh. Warm splashing all over your body. You’re such a little slut baby. Now grip that cock baby, slip it deep in your mouth and stroke me off...I want to shoot my hot paste in your mouth baby...yeah, suck it down Mary...mmmm. You’re such a nasty little girl.
Ahhhh. Yes. Mmmm. Here baby, let me lay down on the wet floor. Come on, lay on top of me. Yes. I’m still hard baby, yes. Kiss me. I want to taste all of that come. You feel so good all wet against me. I want to hold that ass in my hands. Let me squeeze that fucking ass, baby. Let me slip a finger up your wet snatch for a second....Soak it. Mmmm. Slippery. Now, I’m gonna slide it up that tight ass of yours...feel that?...yeah baby, fuck that finger with your asshole...let me kiss your neck... you taste like piss baby. Mmmm, feel that finger up you baby?...feel my cock poking up between your legs? Push those legs together. Squeeze him between your legs baby...yeah, I want you to pee on that hard cock baby...soak me baby...yeah, you kinky little bitch doing what your master says. Good girl. Rub up against that cock baby; I want to feel you come against that drenched cock. Feel those fingers inside your ass; pushing you towards that wet, hot cock...I love being your little whore Mary. Shiver on that hard cock baby...yes, that’s it...Kiss me, before I have to spank that ass...yes, I’ve missed you baby...hold me tight. Kiss me, baby.... kiss me.

------->>>>B