You wait for my call. I say one word. "NOW." You run to the shower hose yourself down wash your ass especially well because tonight it is mine. Make sure you lube it up your well before you leave the house. You might even want to toss a couple of fingers in there in the shower to get used to the idea. You will drink a bottle of water while you are getting ready and one en route to my house. I want you to feel full. I want you in an expendable wife-beater or old button up shirt. No fucking bra this time unless you plan on having it cut off of you. In fact, I want you in a plaid schoolgirl skirt. Dog collar. Drive to my house dressed this way. Do not be late but do not speed. I don’t want the police to get their hands on you like last time. Pull your car into the neighborhood and park up the street. Come to my front door. Knock three times. Wait 60 seconds and knock again. Open the front door. I will not answer. Slowly come inside. Call out, “Hello...anyone home? I’m lost...Can I use your phone?” Ask for directions. You got off at the wrong bus stop and don't know where you are. I will grab you from behind and take you then and there as I wish. You will definitely be at my beck and call. While you are still dressed and freshly fucked, you will crawl into the bathroom where I will piss on you in the bathtub and then you on my cock. You will then be led upstairs, punished and fucked heartily. Then I will order you to lick my ass and fuck me slowly with my strap-on, first on my stomach, whispering into my ear what an asshole I was and how you love fucking my ass...then you roll me on my back so I can stare into your eyes and slap your tits while you slide that hard cock in and out of me... Nice start for an evening you think? Perhaps a bit of ESPN or Matlock and a bite to eat instead? Don't fucking push it. You are mine and I am yours.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
WILD AT HEART, INDEED
It’s extremely odd
That in the fastest passing of a month
That one can remember
When all that is really recalled
Is your name
And the ever changing
Glorious look of you across the room
In her arms
Or her arms
In my arms
In your chair
In your element
Surrounded by your things
Your glow
Tarnished light all soft and asking
You being loved
Soft
Hard
Fast
Slowly
All eyes on you, baby
All hands on deck
It being “let’s Please Mary Week”
It being 6 a.m. in the morning
Half-way through
A marathon of six hands playing tootsie
Three hearts playing tag
Across one furry white carpet
An old wobbly cat perched on her back
As she strokes warm, hard meat with one hand
Fingers, again, your wet shivering gash with the other
Open and beckoning her in
The three of us piled neatly
Enveloping the objects of our desires
The shadows of our smiles
The sources of our panting breath
Our slavishly pounding hearts.
Surrounded
Smothered by the love
You can’t utter
But can’t but help to see
Can’t help to feel
Coming at you from all sides
Arms entwined
Palms on breasts
Foreheads
Thighs
Cunts and cock
Asses and bellies and lips and tongues
Dimples all smiles we all are
Sly, ravenous, rapturous smiles akimbo
What next?
What next?
No one dare ask allowed for to break the spell
The flow
The certainty that all rises at its own pace
Its own level of comfort
And comfort
Ease of deliberation
Simplicity of emotive
Synchronous
Drive
The elemental coming together of three
Count ‘em
Three adventurous souls
Passionate care
For each others sweet spots
Soft spots
Smoldering hot spots
Just part of the glimmering dew,
Embrace of the goodness
The sharing
The skin-on-skin
Jealousy breakdown
Jettisoned
Along with the angst and the time
That passes clandestinely behind the curtains
Separating all of this heat
From the dawning of the outside world.
That in the fastest passing of a month
That one can remember
When all that is really recalled
Is your name
And the ever changing
Glorious look of you across the room
In her arms
Or her arms
In my arms
In your chair
In your element
Surrounded by your things
Your glow
Tarnished light all soft and asking
You being loved
Soft
Hard
Fast
Slowly
All eyes on you, baby
All hands on deck
It being “let’s Please Mary Week”
It being 6 a.m. in the morning
Half-way through
A marathon of six hands playing tootsie
Three hearts playing tag
Across one furry white carpet
An old wobbly cat perched on her back
As she strokes warm, hard meat with one hand
Fingers, again, your wet shivering gash with the other
Open and beckoning her in
The three of us piled neatly
Enveloping the objects of our desires
The shadows of our smiles
The sources of our panting breath
Our slavishly pounding hearts.
Surrounded
Smothered by the love
You can’t utter
But can’t but help to see
Can’t help to feel
Coming at you from all sides
Arms entwined
Palms on breasts
Foreheads
Thighs
Cunts and cock
Asses and bellies and lips and tongues
Dimples all smiles we all are
Sly, ravenous, rapturous smiles akimbo
What next?
What next?
No one dare ask allowed for to break the spell
The flow
The certainty that all rises at its own pace
Its own level of comfort
And comfort
Ease of deliberation
Simplicity of emotive
Synchronous
Drive
The elemental coming together of three
Count ‘em
Three adventurous souls
Passionate care
For each others sweet spots
Soft spots
Smoldering hot spots
Just part of the glimmering dew,
Embrace of the goodness
The sharing
The skin-on-skin
Jealousy breakdown
Jettisoned
Along with the angst and the time
That passes clandestinely behind the curtains
Separating all of this heat
From the dawning of the outside world.
JNREAJKGALKJRBDV
I am so fucking exhilarated, frustrated, discombobulated I can’t tell you. I feel like I keep walking into walls that bend when my face hits them and I look at the imprint and the face staring back is yours. I want to touch, kiss, caress, spank, whip, suck, eat, bite, watch, smell, wax, hold, lick, fuck, rim, rape, cum on, piss on, tie up, fondle, surprise, kidnap, pinch, worship, spoil…YOU and be touched, kissed, caressed, spanked, whipped, sucked, eaten, bitten, waxed, held, licked, fucked, rimmed, raped, cum’d upon, pissed on, tied up, fondled, surprised, kidnapped, pinched, worshipped, spoiled…BY YOU. I want to sit across from you naked and not say a word until we both jump out of our skin and into a bucket next to the bed where our genetic slipstream coagulates into something not even I could resist on a tortilla.
It is like having the best Halloween outfit EVER and it pours rain, you have a cold, there’s a crime wave in your neighborhood and you aren’t allowed to trick OR treat or even go outside until next year when your outfit probably won’t fit you anymore.
BUT…I’m being calm…I’m accepting…meditating on my current moment…patient…enjoying the view from here…trying ever so hard not to stare at you, drooling like the dawg-boy I am…but when I do, I see me, but with better tits and much less hair…trying so incredibly hard to keep these enamored fantasies at bay, so close I can taste them but as distant as lightning flashing over the desert 30 miles away...trying to figure that it could be worse…I could be 3000 miles away sitting, cock in hand, wondering and dreaming…but perhaps that’s easier…trying to ignore the clock that ticks louder with each passing moment and thinking…'was life always this fucking ridiculous?'
Anyone ever put a piece of chocolate under your nose, touched it to your lips and then popped it into their mouth with a sly snicker…maybe even gave you a little kiss after slowly swirling that melting, heavenly ooze across their tongue and swallowing it down? And though you smell it, taste it, you want more...you wish you could’ve swallowed it whole when you had the chance.
Not envy, or jealousy of that piece of chocolate or that tongue…no, sheer unadulterated desire. And me, I luxuriate in the idea that each moment and conversation and thought of you is part of the process of discovery…your tongue in my ear, trying to break thru and suck on some succulent piece my mind; my fingers inside you, trying to reach up into your heart and feel its pulse racing in time with my own; our skin damp together trying to find out what makes these so like-minded souls, so fucking connected and unreachable at the same time. Just like our own selves are to us, touchable but just out of reach. We, who think we are closer than most in knowing ourselves, knowing who we really are and then, reflected in each other, we see radiant, sometimes enlightening, sometimes jarring bits, shards, and mirrored reflections of ourselves and want to know more.
You once said, “I think with you and I it would always just be about sex.” If that’s true, then I’ve fallen through some other kind of dream where words are colors and sounds taste blue and in that parallel universe all is explainable and all answers are mine to give. Oops. No deal. And at times I think, "Did I come 3000 miles to know less than I did before? To find freedom and temptation and impatience are all just the saw blade carving pieces out of the same jigsaw puzzle of daily existence or did I come out here just to get kinky or are they both slippery funhouse mirror versions of the same thing? Is the tenuous nature of our every waking moment just that simply defined? And perhaps the crapshoot of life is just that--a pre-destined, random slideshow over which there is no control, no rhyme, reason or rational, experiential explanation and an exceedingly incongruous but teasingly seductive soundtrack. “It ain’t why, why, why…it just is” or is it?
I see you on a high dive on the verge of a back flip into a BIG new pool of life and I see that the pool is indeed deep enough, enticing and warm enough and shimmering enough to seduce your desire for the unknown, for the challenge, for the adventure and I just hope you are a strong swimmer for the pool is an impetuous and tempting dream with a strong current. And as you spring up, soar into the air, suspended momentarily in the space between upward motion and downward plunge I want nothing so much as to be that water that envelopes you, that you pierce with your flailing sense of direction, but perhaps I am only destined to be the hot, bronzed lifeguard, package hanging left with one eye on the life preserver and the other on the edge of the pool just beyond which the wavering image of the arrow of your body flashes by…
Goodnight, my sweet muse.
~for Miss Mary, late night letter, written and sent 3:57am. July 11, 2008
It is like having the best Halloween outfit EVER and it pours rain, you have a cold, there’s a crime wave in your neighborhood and you aren’t allowed to trick OR treat or even go outside until next year when your outfit probably won’t fit you anymore.
BUT…I’m being calm…I’m accepting…meditating on my current moment…patient…enjoying the view from here…trying ever so hard not to stare at you, drooling like the dawg-boy I am…but when I do, I see me, but with better tits and much less hair…trying so incredibly hard to keep these enamored fantasies at bay, so close I can taste them but as distant as lightning flashing over the desert 30 miles away...trying to figure that it could be worse…I could be 3000 miles away sitting, cock in hand, wondering and dreaming…but perhaps that’s easier…trying to ignore the clock that ticks louder with each passing moment and thinking…'was life always this fucking ridiculous?'
Anyone ever put a piece of chocolate under your nose, touched it to your lips and then popped it into their mouth with a sly snicker…maybe even gave you a little kiss after slowly swirling that melting, heavenly ooze across their tongue and swallowing it down? And though you smell it, taste it, you want more...you wish you could’ve swallowed it whole when you had the chance.
Not envy, or jealousy of that piece of chocolate or that tongue…no, sheer unadulterated desire. And me, I luxuriate in the idea that each moment and conversation and thought of you is part of the process of discovery…your tongue in my ear, trying to break thru and suck on some succulent piece my mind; my fingers inside you, trying to reach up into your heart and feel its pulse racing in time with my own; our skin damp together trying to find out what makes these so like-minded souls, so fucking connected and unreachable at the same time. Just like our own selves are to us, touchable but just out of reach. We, who think we are closer than most in knowing ourselves, knowing who we really are and then, reflected in each other, we see radiant, sometimes enlightening, sometimes jarring bits, shards, and mirrored reflections of ourselves and want to know more.
You once said, “I think with you and I it would always just be about sex.” If that’s true, then I’ve fallen through some other kind of dream where words are colors and sounds taste blue and in that parallel universe all is explainable and all answers are mine to give. Oops. No deal. And at times I think, "Did I come 3000 miles to know less than I did before? To find freedom and temptation and impatience are all just the saw blade carving pieces out of the same jigsaw puzzle of daily existence or did I come out here just to get kinky or are they both slippery funhouse mirror versions of the same thing? Is the tenuous nature of our every waking moment just that simply defined? And perhaps the crapshoot of life is just that--a pre-destined, random slideshow over which there is no control, no rhyme, reason or rational, experiential explanation and an exceedingly incongruous but teasingly seductive soundtrack. “It ain’t why, why, why…it just is” or is it?
I see you on a high dive on the verge of a back flip into a BIG new pool of life and I see that the pool is indeed deep enough, enticing and warm enough and shimmering enough to seduce your desire for the unknown, for the challenge, for the adventure and I just hope you are a strong swimmer for the pool is an impetuous and tempting dream with a strong current. And as you spring up, soar into the air, suspended momentarily in the space between upward motion and downward plunge I want nothing so much as to be that water that envelopes you, that you pierce with your flailing sense of direction, but perhaps I am only destined to be the hot, bronzed lifeguard, package hanging left with one eye on the life preserver and the other on the edge of the pool just beyond which the wavering image of the arrow of your body flashes by…
Goodnight, my sweet muse.
~for Miss Mary, late night letter, written and sent 3:57am. July 11, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
DREAM #33470
I’m sitting in a favorite restaurant in Philadelphia waiting for Teena. She is late to work and the staff is worried about her. Suddenly I get a text mail from her. It says, “I have been tied to a tree in the park close by. You only have an hour to find me then they take me away back to Singapore. Help.”
I run out the door without paying for my food. Shannon follows and says, “Are you going to a movie? Can I go?”
“You’re boyfriend will be mad,” I say.
She says, “Teena has a boyfriend too, you know.”
“I know, she finally told me. I have an hour to find her,” and I run off across the street. I am worried because the park is big and there are so many trees. I ask people if they’ve seen a beautiful girl tied to a tree and they just laugh at me. I keep looking at my bracelet to tell time, like a sundial since I have no watch. I worry that I’m in the wrong park. A guy is playing bagpipes and it sounds horrible but I notice he is playing a song by Dave Matthews.
It is starting to rain lightly and I worry that time is going quickly. I think, “I barely got to know her now she will be in Indonesia.” I am very sad but running from tree to tree looking for her. I ask a park ranger who is wearing a tie-dye shirt and top hat and big, clown shoes if he has seen her. He says, “Maybe she’s in line to see the Liberty Bell.”
I scream, “No, you idiot, she’s tied to a tree.”
Suddenly, I hear a little kid say to his mom while the pass by, “Why is she naked, mom?” and I know he’s talking about Teena so I run in the direction they came from. I see yellow ropes in a BIG bowknot like a huge shoestring on a giant tree and when I run around to the other side, there she is. She is naked and I stop for a moment and just stare at her. I’ve never seen anything this sexy in my life. I walk up to her slowly and she has tears coming down her face but is smiling her incredible smile. “I knew you would find me Renaissance man. I knew it.”
“I need a knife to cut these ropes.” I look around but there is nothing and no one around. I look at my watch and there is only fifteen minutes left.
“Wait,” she says. “Now you can kiss me.”
“We don’t have much time,” I am looking under a bush for something sharp to cut the rope.
“But if they take me and we never kiss I will forever regret it,” she says softly.
I walk to the tree and put my hands on her hips. Her skin is so very soft. Leaning in, I whisper in her ear, feeling her sweet-smelling, silky hair against my lips for the first time. “I have waited so long for this…I am so nervous.”
“Kiss me,” she sighs softly and I look in to her eyes and my heart just races. I slowly find my lips moving toward her open mouth and she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. A press my wet lips slowly against hers and she tastes so sweet, deliciously soft, and she leans into me against the ropes as I press my body to hers and suddenly I notice the ropes have fallen to the ground and her arms are over my shoulders as I wrap mine around her.
We are not in the park any more and I am carrying her in my arms up the stairs at her restaurant. She is wrapped in one of my big, soft shirts. There is a hidden room behind a curtain that I somehow know about and I walk through there.
I sit her down in a big bathtub full of warm water and silky bath oils that smell of springtime flowers. Only candles light the room and I feel someone sitting in a dark corner watching us. I slowly wash Teena’s face and arms, back and chest in the candlelight, watching the water slide down her body and shoulders, hearing her breathing quietly as if she is very content. I lean in and softly kiss her neck. She stands and I sponge bubbly warm water all over her. She balances with her hand on my shoulder. “My turn,” she says and I climb into the tub with all of my clothes on and she cracks up. So does Shannon whose laugh I recognize from her seat in the dark corner watching us. Teena begins to unbutton my now soaked shirt and over her shoulder I see Shannon stand and slowly walk towards us and then I wake up!!!”
I run out the door without paying for my food. Shannon follows and says, “Are you going to a movie? Can I go?”
“You’re boyfriend will be mad,” I say.
She says, “Teena has a boyfriend too, you know.”
“I know, she finally told me. I have an hour to find her,” and I run off across the street. I am worried because the park is big and there are so many trees. I ask people if they’ve seen a beautiful girl tied to a tree and they just laugh at me. I keep looking at my bracelet to tell time, like a sundial since I have no watch. I worry that I’m in the wrong park. A guy is playing bagpipes and it sounds horrible but I notice he is playing a song by Dave Matthews.
It is starting to rain lightly and I worry that time is going quickly. I think, “I barely got to know her now she will be in Indonesia.” I am very sad but running from tree to tree looking for her. I ask a park ranger who is wearing a tie-dye shirt and top hat and big, clown shoes if he has seen her. He says, “Maybe she’s in line to see the Liberty Bell.”
I scream, “No, you idiot, she’s tied to a tree.”
Suddenly, I hear a little kid say to his mom while the pass by, “Why is she naked, mom?” and I know he’s talking about Teena so I run in the direction they came from. I see yellow ropes in a BIG bowknot like a huge shoestring on a giant tree and when I run around to the other side, there she is. She is naked and I stop for a moment and just stare at her. I’ve never seen anything this sexy in my life. I walk up to her slowly and she has tears coming down her face but is smiling her incredible smile. “I knew you would find me Renaissance man. I knew it.”
“I need a knife to cut these ropes.” I look around but there is nothing and no one around. I look at my watch and there is only fifteen minutes left.
“Wait,” she says. “Now you can kiss me.”
“We don’t have much time,” I am looking under a bush for something sharp to cut the rope.
“But if they take me and we never kiss I will forever regret it,” she says softly.
I walk to the tree and put my hands on her hips. Her skin is so very soft. Leaning in, I whisper in her ear, feeling her sweet-smelling, silky hair against my lips for the first time. “I have waited so long for this…I am so nervous.”
“Kiss me,” she sighs softly and I look in to her eyes and my heart just races. I slowly find my lips moving toward her open mouth and she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. A press my wet lips slowly against hers and she tastes so sweet, deliciously soft, and she leans into me against the ropes as I press my body to hers and suddenly I notice the ropes have fallen to the ground and her arms are over my shoulders as I wrap mine around her.
We are not in the park any more and I am carrying her in my arms up the stairs at her restaurant. She is wrapped in one of my big, soft shirts. There is a hidden room behind a curtain that I somehow know about and I walk through there.
I sit her down in a big bathtub full of warm water and silky bath oils that smell of springtime flowers. Only candles light the room and I feel someone sitting in a dark corner watching us. I slowly wash Teena’s face and arms, back and chest in the candlelight, watching the water slide down her body and shoulders, hearing her breathing quietly as if she is very content. I lean in and softly kiss her neck. She stands and I sponge bubbly warm water all over her. She balances with her hand on my shoulder. “My turn,” she says and I climb into the tub with all of my clothes on and she cracks up. So does Shannon whose laugh I recognize from her seat in the dark corner watching us. Teena begins to unbutton my now soaked shirt and over her shoulder I see Shannon stand and slowly walk towards us and then I wake up!!!”
Thursday, June 19, 2008
POST-DIVORCE DEBAUCHERY
I was inspired by a member on AdultFriendFinder with her post called "what a year!" to note my new, sexy and fun accomplishments of the past four years since my divorce. Hopefully, this we be a constantly evolving list.
* Became a fully confident, sexually satisfied human being and most importantly learned to not define myself by who I was with and whether or not I was in a relationship. Finally, figured out that it was ME who made ME happy not someone else’s responsibility.
* Found that being polyamorous is not just an excuse to fool around, but also a chance to love and share and respect your partner(s) deeply. That polyamory has nothing to do with being promiscuous or with lack of commitment, love or devotion. In fact, it's all about deep commitment to honesty, sharing, openness and the happiness of your partner.
* Learned how to lose a great deal of my inhibitions
* Realized that yes, I am kinkier than most but still blown away by some of you all out there i.e. there’s always room for new insights ☺
* Became multi-orgasmic. Learned how to injaculate and men, it is worth the effort…way worth the effort.
* Became fully comfortable with my bi-tendencies and fantasies and anxious to find the right man to make them a reality. (I'm way picky, boys so be patient)
* Learned that my previous idea of what was sexually attractive was not only limiting but completely off-base…you are ALL gorgeous.
* Learned to have a lot more self-confidence in bed and in life.
* Started a sex blog that has become incredibly fun after years of secret journaling.
* Discovered that I love ass play and light bondage and discipline and role-playing even more than I ever thought.
* Re-entered a feverish and loving sexual relationship with an ex-lover from 27 years ago (who has been in a long, sexless marriage she is currently freeing herself from) and it’s SO much more passionate and sensual and intense than ever before. She is extremely responsive and open to many of my new sexual explorations and is as romantic and loving as anyone I have ever met. I adore every minute with her.
* Had phone sex for the first time and with my various lovers that shook the rooftops and allowed my verbal tendencies a new outlet.
* Had transcendent sex that totally changed my life spiritually and sexually after working through the initial confusion and misplaced emotional roller coaster that it began.
* Began a sexual tryst, a sort of more well-defined and heady “fuck buddy” regular scene with an “exploratory partner” that opened so many doors and realized so many fantasies and in spite of our early “rules” found us both just falling wonderfully for each other in an incredibly open, giving, sharing and non-clinging way that still reveals a wonderful depth of emotion and trust between us whether or not we are currently trysting.
* Had an orgy with two male old friends and two beautiful working girls that was just a blast.
* Had sexual relations with women 2, 13, 15, 25 and 28 years my junior.
* Admitted my bi-curiousness to a large handful of good friends and got nothing but positive reactions.
What
* Had sex with 2 different women in a 48 hour period.
* Had a woman lick my asshole. Amazing.
* Got fucked in the ass with fingers and toys by two different women. Wow.
* Fucked two different women in the ass a few times. Incredible.
* Stared into the eyes of a woman while she licked pussy for the first time of a woman who had never been with another woman.
* Got experience dominating and being submissive to a woman (with two different women together and three separately on a few occasions) using, whips, restraints, flogging, cuffs, tied one to a saddle, nipple clamps, dirty language, blindfolds, satin, food, candle wax, oils, dildos, vibrators, cock rings, feathers, silk dust and more…needless to say I am a full switch...
* Had my first threesome with two women: one who had minimal experience in group situations and the other who had zero experience with groups and zero experiences with women. I am officially and completely hooked.
* Had my cock sucked on at the same time by two women.
* Being tied and spanked and dominated by two women who took turns showing each other new tricks. Yum.
Where
(Most not actual firsts but fun none-the-less)
* Had sex in my shower in my new apartment (first time there)
* Had sex in my bed there also (first time there)
* Had sex in the hallway in my West Coast home (first time there)
* Have now had sex in every room of my West Coast home except for the basement
* Had sex in a hot tub for the first time
* Got a hand job in the car on Pacific Coast Highway
* Got a blow job in a strip joint (first time ever)
* Got a hand job on a train between NY and Philly (first time ever)
* Had sex in numerous hotel rooms
* Got a hand job in the open on a couch in a dark restaurant (first time)
* Pulled out my cock and rubbed up against my girlfriend in a phone booth in a restaurant (first time ever)
* Got passionate in numerous elevators (no sex yet but give us time)
* Accidentally ripped the headboard off the wall in a swanky Santa Monica hotel during my first new sex with my former/and newly rediscovered lover.
How Many
* my first and second threesomes (two different groups of girls – both FMF)
* my first bi-phone sex three-way. Me and a M friend on one end hovering over the speaker phone with my EXP on the other end of the line.
* More sexual partners in one year than in any previous year
* More different dating partners than I have ever had in a two-year period (actual sexual and non-sexual dates not including strip clubs…)
And this all before signing on to AdultFriendFinder...hmmm
* Became a fully confident, sexually satisfied human being and most importantly learned to not define myself by who I was with and whether or not I was in a relationship. Finally, figured out that it was ME who made ME happy not someone else’s responsibility.
* Found that being polyamorous is not just an excuse to fool around, but also a chance to love and share and respect your partner(s) deeply. That polyamory has nothing to do with being promiscuous or with lack of commitment, love or devotion. In fact, it's all about deep commitment to honesty, sharing, openness and the happiness of your partner.
* Learned how to lose a great deal of my inhibitions
* Realized that yes, I am kinkier than most but still blown away by some of you all out there i.e. there’s always room for new insights ☺
* Became multi-orgasmic. Learned how to injaculate and men, it is worth the effort…way worth the effort.
* Became fully comfortable with my bi-tendencies and fantasies and anxious to find the right man to make them a reality. (I'm way picky, boys so be patient)
* Learned that my previous idea of what was sexually attractive was not only limiting but completely off-base…you are ALL gorgeous.
* Learned to have a lot more self-confidence in bed and in life.
* Started a sex blog that has become incredibly fun after years of secret journaling.
* Discovered that I love ass play and light bondage and discipline and role-playing even more than I ever thought.
* Re-entered a feverish and loving sexual relationship with an ex-lover from 27 years ago (who has been in a long, sexless marriage she is currently freeing herself from) and it’s SO much more passionate and sensual and intense than ever before. She is extremely responsive and open to many of my new sexual explorations and is as romantic and loving as anyone I have ever met. I adore every minute with her.
* Had phone sex for the first time and with my various lovers that shook the rooftops and allowed my verbal tendencies a new outlet.
* Had transcendent sex that totally changed my life spiritually and sexually after working through the initial confusion and misplaced emotional roller coaster that it began.
* Began a sexual tryst, a sort of more well-defined and heady “fuck buddy” regular scene with an “exploratory partner” that opened so many doors and realized so many fantasies and in spite of our early “rules” found us both just falling wonderfully for each other in an incredibly open, giving, sharing and non-clinging way that still reveals a wonderful depth of emotion and trust between us whether or not we are currently trysting.
* Had an orgy with two male old friends and two beautiful working girls that was just a blast.
* Had sexual relations with women 2, 13, 15, 25 and 28 years my junior.
* Admitted my bi-curiousness to a large handful of good friends and got nothing but positive reactions.
What
* Had sex with 2 different women in a 48 hour period.
* Had a woman lick my asshole. Amazing.
* Got fucked in the ass with fingers and toys by two different women. Wow.
* Fucked two different women in the ass a few times. Incredible.
* Stared into the eyes of a woman while she licked pussy for the first time of a woman who had never been with another woman.
* Got experience dominating and being submissive to a woman (with two different women together and three separately on a few occasions) using, whips, restraints, flogging, cuffs, tied one to a saddle, nipple clamps, dirty language, blindfolds, satin, food, candle wax, oils, dildos, vibrators, cock rings, feathers, silk dust and more…needless to say I am a full switch...
* Had my first threesome with two women: one who had minimal experience in group situations and the other who had zero experience with groups and zero experiences with women. I am officially and completely hooked.
* Had my cock sucked on at the same time by two women.
* Being tied and spanked and dominated by two women who took turns showing each other new tricks. Yum.
Where
(Most not actual firsts but fun none-the-less)
* Had sex in my shower in my new apartment (first time there)
* Had sex in my bed there also (first time there)
* Had sex in the hallway in my West Coast home (first time there)
* Have now had sex in every room of my West Coast home except for the basement
* Had sex in a hot tub for the first time
* Got a hand job in the car on Pacific Coast Highway
* Got a blow job in a strip joint (first time ever)
* Got a hand job on a train between NY and Philly (first time ever)
* Had sex in numerous hotel rooms
* Got a hand job in the open on a couch in a dark restaurant (first time)
* Pulled out my cock and rubbed up against my girlfriend in a phone booth in a restaurant (first time ever)
* Got passionate in numerous elevators (no sex yet but give us time)
* Accidentally ripped the headboard off the wall in a swanky Santa Monica hotel during my first new sex with my former/and newly rediscovered lover.
How Many
* my first and second threesomes (two different groups of girls – both FMF)
* my first bi-phone sex three-way. Me and a M friend on one end hovering over the speaker phone with my EXP on the other end of the line.
* More sexual partners in one year than in any previous year
* More different dating partners than I have ever had in a two-year period (actual sexual and non-sexual dates not including strip clubs…)
And this all before signing on to AdultFriendFinder...hmmm
ON THE PARTY BUS PT. I
I’m on the party bus, late night, hour-long ride home from the gig in Annapolis. I put my shirt as a pillow under Shelli’s head for she has fallen asleep in the seat behind me. She is one of the most stunningly beautiful women I have ever encountered. No, seriously. So hot that my friend Paolo recently confessed that he had even followed her around campus on a couple of occasions just to not have to stop looking at her.
Her blouse has fallen open a bit and I can see her entire left nipple in the streetlight that flickers in through the open bus window. Laying my head on the back of my seat, I just stare at her, dreaming of how little rest I'd get if I found myself in bed with her each night, watching her sleep. My hand drops to my lap and in the darkness as everyone is sleeping and passed out, I feel my cock stiffen in my pants and wish I had the balls to pull it out right there.
Suddenly someone slides into the seat next to me. It is another young beauty, the birthday girl Mia who we all sang to earlier in the evening. I'd been eyeing her dancing all night in her tight-fitting, very short batik dress. A sight to behold now plopped down next to me with her bottle of Jim Beam tightly in her grip. She pushes the bottle towards me and as I pull my hand up from my crotch, she glances down and notices the pre-existing condition in my pants. I take what she’s holding and she, in turn, reaches down and gets a firm hold on what was just in my hand. As she persistently rubs my heated lap she says, “Ah ha, so you knew I was coming.”
“Are you?” I say practically out of breath from the excitement.
“In a minute,” she replies with a grin and spreads her legs invitingly. Her blue mini-dress slides up the top of her legs and I transfer the bottle to my left hand before sliding my right up the inside of her soft inner thigh. When I reach her young, panty-less crotch, I feel her slick, shaved quim already wet and awaiting my fingertips' slow caresses.
I lean over and give her a lingering kiss and she makes a soft little moan as my middle finger slips slowly into her body. She fumbles a bit for my zipper and then delicately eases it down and pulls my engorged cock out into the humid night air. All of the windows on the bus are open and there are 2-3 drunken voices reveling near the back, everyone else silent, buzzed, exhausted.
She glances down at my throbbing rod filling her small, strong hand and immediately stands and throws a leg over mine and as her skirt pulls up on its own, she slides down and impales herself on my anxiousness.
Her athletic, 22-year old body--she’s a track star, the only woman on a men’s college team—takes control and I am pinned beneath her, her soaked flesh is as tight as can be around me and she leans over to whisper in my ear, “Fill me up, baby. I can feel your heat inside.” She moves slowly so as to not attract much attention, throws her arms on top of my shoulders and pulls my face into her cleavage. I lick between her pert, young breasts and suddenly I feel a hand slip down my chest, slide directly to my right nipple. It pinches and pulls slowly with increasing pressure until the glorious pain rocks my head. Noticing that Mia’s arms are still over my shoulders, I realize that the playful nipple torturer is Shelli, her arm over the back of my seat joining in on our little party from behind us. I feel her tongue briefly at my ear and she whispers, “Save some for me, boy.”
“Oooooooooooo,” Mia is now cooing above me, her hair hanging on either side of her face. I stare up at her in the flashing freeway light. She is so very young. Flawless skin and ruby lips slightly open and breathing heavily. She grips my cock with her taut cunt and I feel her milking me up and down with her muscles only. She moves only her hips so from anywhere else in the bus all seems still. Shelli leans in and starts to kiss Mia sweetly on the neck and cheek through her hair until Mia turns to her and meets her lips daringly. In a very short time, I feel her begin to spasm and the waves start rolling up from her, her thighs wrapping tighter around me. “Fuck…oh my god…” Shelli giggles at Mia's outburst, ‘Ssssh. Quiet, baby.’
I can smell Shelli’s sweet breath in close proximity to us, as she pulls my nipple, twisting hard and slowly as I begin to feel waves of my own. “Cum, cum, cum inside me, come with me, cu..oh god…oh..” Mia was practically incoherent, squeezing and shuddering all over my cock and as she pushes all the way down onto me, her clit hitting my pubic bone, I turn and look into Shelli’s stunningly gorgeous face as I start to cum…she is smiling so big, so happy, staring into my eyes and I shiver a huge load up into this young girl…Mia grasps hard around my neck and I feel her shoulders shaking and Shelli leans over and kisses me softly on the mouth and I feel her smiling as she kisses me…
“Lucky girl,” Shelli whispers. Mia puts her hands on my shoulders, pushing back away from me and I pull her soaked hair from her face. Tears are rolling down her cheeks and she rolls her eyes saying, “FUCK!” a bit too loudly and the three of us crack up.
We quickly look around and behind us it is pretty quiet. Cute couple Didi and Paul are now making out two seats ahead of us. The kid directly in front of us is snoring through it all and across the aisle from us is a wide-eyed, angelic hippie boy trying to avert his eyes, acting as if wasn’t just witnessing this steamy scene. Mia notices him, climbs off of me and into the seat next to him, plants a big, lingering kiss on his lips and then curls up and falls asleep in his arms. He is completely shocked, the look of a deer caught in the headlights on his face.
Shelli climbs around the seat and in next to me. She bends and takes my semi-hard cock to her lips, licking the remains of Mia and I off of me before rising up to kiss me deep and long. She tucks my hardening cock back into my pants and whispers, “No wonder your girlfriends adore you so much.” I chuckle and am at a loss for words, for she is truly one of the great beauties I have ever seen. “Promise me you won’t let it go too long without having some fun with me,” she says, her lips pressed to my ear. If we weren’t so close to the end of the trip, I’d stand her on the seat on her knees and eat her pussy and ass all the way home.
“You are at the top of my list, gorgeous,” I reply.
Looking me directly in the eye, she smiled slyly, “What are you doing tomorrow night?”
Her blouse has fallen open a bit and I can see her entire left nipple in the streetlight that flickers in through the open bus window. Laying my head on the back of my seat, I just stare at her, dreaming of how little rest I'd get if I found myself in bed with her each night, watching her sleep. My hand drops to my lap and in the darkness as everyone is sleeping and passed out, I feel my cock stiffen in my pants and wish I had the balls to pull it out right there.
Suddenly someone slides into the seat next to me. It is another young beauty, the birthday girl Mia who we all sang to earlier in the evening. I'd been eyeing her dancing all night in her tight-fitting, very short batik dress. A sight to behold now plopped down next to me with her bottle of Jim Beam tightly in her grip. She pushes the bottle towards me and as I pull my hand up from my crotch, she glances down and notices the pre-existing condition in my pants. I take what she’s holding and she, in turn, reaches down and gets a firm hold on what was just in my hand. As she persistently rubs my heated lap she says, “Ah ha, so you knew I was coming.”
“Are you?” I say practically out of breath from the excitement.
“In a minute,” she replies with a grin and spreads her legs invitingly. Her blue mini-dress slides up the top of her legs and I transfer the bottle to my left hand before sliding my right up the inside of her soft inner thigh. When I reach her young, panty-less crotch, I feel her slick, shaved quim already wet and awaiting my fingertips' slow caresses.
I lean over and give her a lingering kiss and she makes a soft little moan as my middle finger slips slowly into her body. She fumbles a bit for my zipper and then delicately eases it down and pulls my engorged cock out into the humid night air. All of the windows on the bus are open and there are 2-3 drunken voices reveling near the back, everyone else silent, buzzed, exhausted.
She glances down at my throbbing rod filling her small, strong hand and immediately stands and throws a leg over mine and as her skirt pulls up on its own, she slides down and impales herself on my anxiousness.
Her athletic, 22-year old body--she’s a track star, the only woman on a men’s college team—takes control and I am pinned beneath her, her soaked flesh is as tight as can be around me and she leans over to whisper in my ear, “Fill me up, baby. I can feel your heat inside.” She moves slowly so as to not attract much attention, throws her arms on top of my shoulders and pulls my face into her cleavage. I lick between her pert, young breasts and suddenly I feel a hand slip down my chest, slide directly to my right nipple. It pinches and pulls slowly with increasing pressure until the glorious pain rocks my head. Noticing that Mia’s arms are still over my shoulders, I realize that the playful nipple torturer is Shelli, her arm over the back of my seat joining in on our little party from behind us. I feel her tongue briefly at my ear and she whispers, “Save some for me, boy.”
“Oooooooooooo,” Mia is now cooing above me, her hair hanging on either side of her face. I stare up at her in the flashing freeway light. She is so very young. Flawless skin and ruby lips slightly open and breathing heavily. She grips my cock with her taut cunt and I feel her milking me up and down with her muscles only. She moves only her hips so from anywhere else in the bus all seems still. Shelli leans in and starts to kiss Mia sweetly on the neck and cheek through her hair until Mia turns to her and meets her lips daringly. In a very short time, I feel her begin to spasm and the waves start rolling up from her, her thighs wrapping tighter around me. “Fuck…oh my god…” Shelli giggles at Mia's outburst, ‘Ssssh. Quiet, baby.’
I can smell Shelli’s sweet breath in close proximity to us, as she pulls my nipple, twisting hard and slowly as I begin to feel waves of my own. “Cum, cum, cum inside me, come with me, cu..oh god…oh..” Mia was practically incoherent, squeezing and shuddering all over my cock and as she pushes all the way down onto me, her clit hitting my pubic bone, I turn and look into Shelli’s stunningly gorgeous face as I start to cum…she is smiling so big, so happy, staring into my eyes and I shiver a huge load up into this young girl…Mia grasps hard around my neck and I feel her shoulders shaking and Shelli leans over and kisses me softly on the mouth and I feel her smiling as she kisses me…
“Lucky girl,” Shelli whispers. Mia puts her hands on my shoulders, pushing back away from me and I pull her soaked hair from her face. Tears are rolling down her cheeks and she rolls her eyes saying, “FUCK!” a bit too loudly and the three of us crack up.
We quickly look around and behind us it is pretty quiet. Cute couple Didi and Paul are now making out two seats ahead of us. The kid directly in front of us is snoring through it all and across the aisle from us is a wide-eyed, angelic hippie boy trying to avert his eyes, acting as if wasn’t just witnessing this steamy scene. Mia notices him, climbs off of me and into the seat next to him, plants a big, lingering kiss on his lips and then curls up and falls asleep in his arms. He is completely shocked, the look of a deer caught in the headlights on his face.
Shelli climbs around the seat and in next to me. She bends and takes my semi-hard cock to her lips, licking the remains of Mia and I off of me before rising up to kiss me deep and long. She tucks my hardening cock back into my pants and whispers, “No wonder your girlfriends adore you so much.” I chuckle and am at a loss for words, for she is truly one of the great beauties I have ever seen. “Promise me you won’t let it go too long without having some fun with me,” she says, her lips pressed to my ear. If we weren’t so close to the end of the trip, I’d stand her on the seat on her knees and eat her pussy and ass all the way home.
“You are at the top of my list, gorgeous,” I reply.
Looking me directly in the eye, she smiled slyly, “What are you doing tomorrow night?”
Friday, May 30, 2008
MY FIRST TIME
During my first two semesters at college I kept seeing this beautiful young lady on campus; at the service counter in the Spartan bookstore and even at some concerts I went to. I was enthralled. She was drop-dead gorgeous. Her face occupied my dreams and fantasies for days to come. I was instantly hot over her the first time I saw her and I'd linger in that part of the store whenever I saw her there. She had long, full dark brown hair down to the top of her ass.
On June 20, 1976, my buddy and I went to see a concert in L.A. I spotted this beauty there walking down the aisle in front of us.
“Bink, see that girl with the long, brown hair? Do you know her?”
“Yeah,” he said. “She’s gorgeous. She works in the book store.”
The next day, I started working at the Creation Dock Seafood Exchange restaurant in the touristy part of town. While cleaning up on my first day (I was hired as groundskeeper/janitor/prep cook), this same radiant woman walked by me and said, “Hi.” Needless to say, I was astonished that she worked there, as fate would have it.
I watched her working at the waitress station, from my peephole in the kitchen. I lingered at my tasks a bit until I had a chance to catch her eye again and I took my shot. Getting ballsy with a beautiful woman for the first time in my life. “How’d you like that concert in L.A. last night?”
“How do you know I went?” she asked, blown away that I’d noticed her.
“I never forget a pretty face.” I was shocked as the words flowed gracefully, if horridly clichéd, from my lips. I found out her name was Jill and I helped her bus some tables when she was busy.
While I was on break, eating lunch in the empty bar, she came up and bought me a beer. When I told her how old I was, she was again, surprised. She thought I was her age (I was 19). She was a beautiful, experienced, seductive 23-year-old. Half-Thai, half-Irish, her family from Oregon.
The next day, she asked if I wanted to get a six-pack and hangout after work. Well, yeah but she'd have to buy because I was only 19. We sat in my car at the marina and got to know each other a bit. I was entranced.
We’d visit over lunch for about a week, getting to know each other pretty quickly. Then one day after work, she came over to my apartment and went swimming for a while. She threw her arms around me at one point and I sprouted a tremendous hard-on. She later told me that from that point on she decided to “scheme on” me. If I would’ve been more cognizant of that fact, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. I was really in awe and intimidated by the insanely beautiful girl.
One evening shortly thereafter, I was half-in-the-bag and playing guitar in my bedroom with my roomie and Jill showed up. She said that she had gotten into a fight with her boyfriend, Rex, who she lived with in the next beach town up the coast about three miles. She asked if she could stay with me. Of course, I was thrilled, she didn’t have to ask twice. She tossed a brown paper sack at me that held a fresh pair of panties and a toothbrush. Traveling light. I loved a girl with a plan but I wasn't quite ready for her directness. I was not used to this at all but I would sure try!
This first night she fell asleep (she was buzzed when she got there) and I slept totally naked with a woman for the first time in my life. Let me rephrase that: I spent the night in bed naked with a naked woman for the first time. I did not sleep. I laid wide awake, staring at her beautiful sleeping face, smelling her hair, looking at her miraculous dark brown nipples and marveled at her soft inner thighs wrapped over my legs. I will never forget those racing hours.
After that we started seeing each other after work everyday. It was a beautiful, sunny, blue day there outside my old Pinto where we'd sit outside in the liquor store parking lot watching the sailboats come into the harbor. By the time we had gone back for four more beers--each time the price changing, by the way, even the clerk was distracted by her smile-—she had told me her life story. She was having problems with Rex. She’d lived with him for over a year and they had been fighting for at least ten months. She was having thoughts of moving away from him. She asked if she could sleep with me when she was lonely and upset. Hell, yeah!
We got along grandly for a month or so, sneaking kisses in the bar or the kitchen at work, going farther in the walk-in fridge, almost making love. We'd swim and go to concerts. She finally moved away from Rex, to a place only two blocks away from me. He’d been treating her like shit, hitting her and she had had enough.
She was a tremendously sexual creature. She thrived on sex and all of its eccentricities. She liked to be extremely open in public. In other words, she would tease all day and make out all night. She used to enjoy being the initiator and the aggressor. Both of which, I was in dire need of and very acceptant of this new development in my life.
Jill would come over and jerk me off in the walk in closet while my friends were out in the front room. We’d roll around for hours, sucking face, rubbing all over each other. In our previous nights together, I’d gone down on her a couple of times and she'd always pull me up (I obviously had no idea what I was doing) but instead of telling me what she wanted, she'd pull me up to her mouth and say she wanted to lick her wetness off of my face. Her delicious pussy was the most incredibly gorgeous I have ever seen (and the first I had tasted). Her sparse black hair was as silky as anything I'd ever experienced. I was mesmerized.
She’d also gone down on me a couple of times before (did I mention the walk-in fridge at work?) but I was always SO nervous. So afraid, that I'd not know what to do that I had trouble staying erect when we'd get close to fucking. I thought that there was some secret that I didn’t know and was very afraid to be thought of as inexperienced (although I certainly was).
I was a nervous wreck. A virgin at 19. By this time, we had been around each other for a couple of months, fairly often, a couple of nights a week at least. But she had this louse of boyfriend and there was lots of confusion on both our parts. I just needed the big push to take the step. At times, we'd make the mistake of drinking way too much alcohol. I remember her saying, “Someday, we’re gonna have to not drink so much. Someday we’re gonna have to just fuck.” Gotcha. But, I was scared to death.
Finally, about the time school started back up in the fall, I got fed up with work and quit the restaurant. No more getting drunk with the boss after hours in the bar; no more free meals and no more Jill everyday. My college rock band was just forming and 4-5 nights a week we rehearsed inland about 20 miles away from the beach. With all the running around, we saw each other less and less.
In August, we attended a Crosby, Stills & Nash concert at the Arena. At one point, after she played with my cock, her hand in my pants up in our seats near the roof of the joint, she threw her arms around my neck and she asked me if I loved her. I didn’t know what to say. I'd never been asked this before. Of course, I thought I knew how I felt, but I was scared. She was still, sort of, with somebody else. I was still heartbroken from my first high school sweetheart. I was young and stupid, afraid of committing myself. I hedged a bit, dumb me.
She said, she found herself falling in love with me. I said that I really didn’t know, I was scared of being hurt again.
The music diffused the conversation and on the way home we were joking around and then I said something that set her off. It had started when she asked me what I was looking at as we drove home and a drunk girl with her tits hanging out walked out into the street and I had to slam on my brakes for her to stumble by.
“I had to stop for the road block,” I joked and she said, "So you wish I had bigger tits?" What? She had issues about her breast size and got pissed if I mentioned tits at all. She was picking a fight, I guess. She gave me the silent treatment all the way home.
She'd taken my comment personally and said she'd heard this shit all the time from Rex and that she was tired of feeling bad about herself. I think she was really pissed that I didn't answer her affirmatively earlier about being in love with her. I tried to explain that I wasn’t being malicious or even directing any tit comment at her, to no avail. She ran into my apartment and cranked the stereo up, started dancing and tuned me out for an hour.
A big wall went up and I got tired of trying to talk and being ignored so I got pissed and went into my room and moped. She eventually came in crying saying, “You don’t understand.”
Yes, I do. “No, you don’t.” and that pissed me off more. I went into the living room, running away from my anger. She followed me in, sat beside me. She finally wiped the tears from her eyes, the pain from her heart and she leaned to me and slid her hand over my crotch. Then she took my hand and lightly led me into the bedroom, an innocent, peaceful look on her face. We headed toward the first, and last, consummation of our love.
We had slept together, fooled around often but we had never yet made love. Though it was not due to the fact that we hadn’t had the opportunity or hadn’t tried.
Too many drinks and too many jokes. But that night, though I couldn't say it, we both discovered somehow that we loved one another and in hindsight it scared us both into defensive strategy.
She trying to justify her love for me with her dissolving relationship with this violent Rex guy. Me, trying to figure out if I was really in love since I was still pining for Joni and still blindly hopeful that Joni and I would work out somehow. Strange night…but then it happened.
Sliding down onto the bed, she enveloped me in her soft, warm legs. Undressing herself above me, her eyes never left mine. As she pulled her top up over her head, I saw her amazing child-like body. Her beautiful tiny breasts tipped by dark nipples, lengthening before my eyes as her long, thick dark brown hair brushed over them like clouds hiding a beautiful moon.
She told me to take off my shirt, as I did her eyes followed down my chest and she unbuckled my pants and pulled them down over my feet. She rubbed her dark, warm cunt over my stomach. Her pubic hair as soft, a rabbit pelt of black silk, thinly covering her wet pink sacred place. My belly soaked, rose and fell as she slid down on top of my engorged rod. Rolling together, I pressed my face up through her thick hair, trying to get eye to eye with her dark almondine crescents there in the cave of mane that fell on my shoulders and surrounded my head. Our lips met, her tongue darting into me in time with my cock between her legs. Our bodies melding into one.
She moaned like a wild cat, we rolled together onto the floor and I slipped underneath again for the pleasure of feeling her waist-length hair caress my shoulders and chest again, while she kissed my forehead and ears. The huge pillow on the floor was soft and spongy beneath us and as I rolled again, I felt her legs tighten and clinch behind my back. She was moving furiously, gasping for air and I thought she’d buck me off... On the edge, I moved faster, her fingers clawing at my ass. I collapsed in her arms and we lay satiated. In a little while she got up, stumbled to the bathroom in the hall and puked up the last three shots of cheap tequila and I half-hoped that wouldn’t be the normal reaction every time I made love in the future!
We woke sometime later, dawn was creeping through the plants in the windowsill. A big jet shook the glass pane as the first morning flight slipped out of town over our heads. I kissed her awake and as she moved against me, I slowly sunk my hips into her and we made slow, passionate morning love our lips never parting until we had both shivered the day awake.
I felt like a million pound weight had been lifted from my shoulders. She was my 1st real sex. Of course, even before that night I was lost and in love with her but still, held a fading torch for Joni back in my hometown.
After that, I never heard from her again. In a week or two, I heard Rex had convinced her to move back in with him. I couldn't call her house. My ex-boss wouldn't allow me in the restaurant since I'd quit on him. So when the fall semester started up I walked into the book store and asked for her. "She's not working this semester but I just saw her heading down the the beer garden."
I looked around but didn't see her so I sat at a table and began writing in my journal. A few minutes later, I heard her voice nearby.
"Pierce," she was sitting directly across the table from me. Looking radiant but sad. "I'm moving up to San Luis after this semester to live with my grandma for awhile. Rex is nuts and I couldn't stay in town with you. He'd find us and make our lives miserable. I'm so sorry."
I didn't know what to say. My mouth felt glued shut. There was a knot in my chest and I felt sick to my stomach. She stood up and kissed me on the lips, put her hand on my cheek and turned away. "Jill...thank you." She turned, smiling sadly and then I watched her walk away for what seemed like hours.
On June 20, 1976, my buddy and I went to see a concert in L.A. I spotted this beauty there walking down the aisle in front of us.
“Bink, see that girl with the long, brown hair? Do you know her?”
“Yeah,” he said. “She’s gorgeous. She works in the book store.”
The next day, I started working at the Creation Dock Seafood Exchange restaurant in the touristy part of town. While cleaning up on my first day (I was hired as groundskeeper/janitor/prep cook), this same radiant woman walked by me and said, “Hi.” Needless to say, I was astonished that she worked there, as fate would have it.
I watched her working at the waitress station, from my peephole in the kitchen. I lingered at my tasks a bit until I had a chance to catch her eye again and I took my shot. Getting ballsy with a beautiful woman for the first time in my life. “How’d you like that concert in L.A. last night?”
“How do you know I went?” she asked, blown away that I’d noticed her.
“I never forget a pretty face.” I was shocked as the words flowed gracefully, if horridly clichéd, from my lips. I found out her name was Jill and I helped her bus some tables when she was busy.
While I was on break, eating lunch in the empty bar, she came up and bought me a beer. When I told her how old I was, she was again, surprised. She thought I was her age (I was 19). She was a beautiful, experienced, seductive 23-year-old. Half-Thai, half-Irish, her family from Oregon.
The next day, she asked if I wanted to get a six-pack and hangout after work. Well, yeah but she'd have to buy because I was only 19. We sat in my car at the marina and got to know each other a bit. I was entranced.
We’d visit over lunch for about a week, getting to know each other pretty quickly. Then one day after work, she came over to my apartment and went swimming for a while. She threw her arms around me at one point and I sprouted a tremendous hard-on. She later told me that from that point on she decided to “scheme on” me. If I would’ve been more cognizant of that fact, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. I was really in awe and intimidated by the insanely beautiful girl.
One evening shortly thereafter, I was half-in-the-bag and playing guitar in my bedroom with my roomie and Jill showed up. She said that she had gotten into a fight with her boyfriend, Rex, who she lived with in the next beach town up the coast about three miles. She asked if she could stay with me. Of course, I was thrilled, she didn’t have to ask twice. She tossed a brown paper sack at me that held a fresh pair of panties and a toothbrush. Traveling light. I loved a girl with a plan but I wasn't quite ready for her directness. I was not used to this at all but I would sure try!
This first night she fell asleep (she was buzzed when she got there) and I slept totally naked with a woman for the first time in my life. Let me rephrase that: I spent the night in bed naked with a naked woman for the first time. I did not sleep. I laid wide awake, staring at her beautiful sleeping face, smelling her hair, looking at her miraculous dark brown nipples and marveled at her soft inner thighs wrapped over my legs. I will never forget those racing hours.
After that we started seeing each other after work everyday. It was a beautiful, sunny, blue day there outside my old Pinto where we'd sit outside in the liquor store parking lot watching the sailboats come into the harbor. By the time we had gone back for four more beers--each time the price changing, by the way, even the clerk was distracted by her smile-—she had told me her life story. She was having problems with Rex. She’d lived with him for over a year and they had been fighting for at least ten months. She was having thoughts of moving away from him. She asked if she could sleep with me when she was lonely and upset. Hell, yeah!
We got along grandly for a month or so, sneaking kisses in the bar or the kitchen at work, going farther in the walk-in fridge, almost making love. We'd swim and go to concerts. She finally moved away from Rex, to a place only two blocks away from me. He’d been treating her like shit, hitting her and she had had enough.
She was a tremendously sexual creature. She thrived on sex and all of its eccentricities. She liked to be extremely open in public. In other words, she would tease all day and make out all night. She used to enjoy being the initiator and the aggressor. Both of which, I was in dire need of and very acceptant of this new development in my life.
Jill would come over and jerk me off in the walk in closet while my friends were out in the front room. We’d roll around for hours, sucking face, rubbing all over each other. In our previous nights together, I’d gone down on her a couple of times and she'd always pull me up (I obviously had no idea what I was doing) but instead of telling me what she wanted, she'd pull me up to her mouth and say she wanted to lick her wetness off of my face. Her delicious pussy was the most incredibly gorgeous I have ever seen (and the first I had tasted). Her sparse black hair was as silky as anything I'd ever experienced. I was mesmerized.
She’d also gone down on me a couple of times before (did I mention the walk-in fridge at work?) but I was always SO nervous. So afraid, that I'd not know what to do that I had trouble staying erect when we'd get close to fucking. I thought that there was some secret that I didn’t know and was very afraid to be thought of as inexperienced (although I certainly was).
I was a nervous wreck. A virgin at 19. By this time, we had been around each other for a couple of months, fairly often, a couple of nights a week at least. But she had this louse of boyfriend and there was lots of confusion on both our parts. I just needed the big push to take the step. At times, we'd make the mistake of drinking way too much alcohol. I remember her saying, “Someday, we’re gonna have to not drink so much. Someday we’re gonna have to just fuck.” Gotcha. But, I was scared to death.
Finally, about the time school started back up in the fall, I got fed up with work and quit the restaurant. No more getting drunk with the boss after hours in the bar; no more free meals and no more Jill everyday. My college rock band was just forming and 4-5 nights a week we rehearsed inland about 20 miles away from the beach. With all the running around, we saw each other less and less.
In August, we attended a Crosby, Stills & Nash concert at the Arena. At one point, after she played with my cock, her hand in my pants up in our seats near the roof of the joint, she threw her arms around my neck and she asked me if I loved her. I didn’t know what to say. I'd never been asked this before. Of course, I thought I knew how I felt, but I was scared. She was still, sort of, with somebody else. I was still heartbroken from my first high school sweetheart. I was young and stupid, afraid of committing myself. I hedged a bit, dumb me.
She said, she found herself falling in love with me. I said that I really didn’t know, I was scared of being hurt again.
The music diffused the conversation and on the way home we were joking around and then I said something that set her off. It had started when she asked me what I was looking at as we drove home and a drunk girl with her tits hanging out walked out into the street and I had to slam on my brakes for her to stumble by.
“I had to stop for the road block,” I joked and she said, "So you wish I had bigger tits?" What? She had issues about her breast size and got pissed if I mentioned tits at all. She was picking a fight, I guess. She gave me the silent treatment all the way home.
She'd taken my comment personally and said she'd heard this shit all the time from Rex and that she was tired of feeling bad about herself. I think she was really pissed that I didn't answer her affirmatively earlier about being in love with her. I tried to explain that I wasn’t being malicious or even directing any tit comment at her, to no avail. She ran into my apartment and cranked the stereo up, started dancing and tuned me out for an hour.
A big wall went up and I got tired of trying to talk and being ignored so I got pissed and went into my room and moped. She eventually came in crying saying, “You don’t understand.”
Yes, I do. “No, you don’t.” and that pissed me off more. I went into the living room, running away from my anger. She followed me in, sat beside me. She finally wiped the tears from her eyes, the pain from her heart and she leaned to me and slid her hand over my crotch. Then she took my hand and lightly led me into the bedroom, an innocent, peaceful look on her face. We headed toward the first, and last, consummation of our love.
We had slept together, fooled around often but we had never yet made love. Though it was not due to the fact that we hadn’t had the opportunity or hadn’t tried.
Too many drinks and too many jokes. But that night, though I couldn't say it, we both discovered somehow that we loved one another and in hindsight it scared us both into defensive strategy.
She trying to justify her love for me with her dissolving relationship with this violent Rex guy. Me, trying to figure out if I was really in love since I was still pining for Joni and still blindly hopeful that Joni and I would work out somehow. Strange night…but then it happened.
Sliding down onto the bed, she enveloped me in her soft, warm legs. Undressing herself above me, her eyes never left mine. As she pulled her top up over her head, I saw her amazing child-like body. Her beautiful tiny breasts tipped by dark nipples, lengthening before my eyes as her long, thick dark brown hair brushed over them like clouds hiding a beautiful moon.
She told me to take off my shirt, as I did her eyes followed down my chest and she unbuckled my pants and pulled them down over my feet. She rubbed her dark, warm cunt over my stomach. Her pubic hair as soft, a rabbit pelt of black silk, thinly covering her wet pink sacred place. My belly soaked, rose and fell as she slid down on top of my engorged rod. Rolling together, I pressed my face up through her thick hair, trying to get eye to eye with her dark almondine crescents there in the cave of mane that fell on my shoulders and surrounded my head. Our lips met, her tongue darting into me in time with my cock between her legs. Our bodies melding into one.
She moaned like a wild cat, we rolled together onto the floor and I slipped underneath again for the pleasure of feeling her waist-length hair caress my shoulders and chest again, while she kissed my forehead and ears. The huge pillow on the floor was soft and spongy beneath us and as I rolled again, I felt her legs tighten and clinch behind my back. She was moving furiously, gasping for air and I thought she’d buck me off... On the edge, I moved faster, her fingers clawing at my ass. I collapsed in her arms and we lay satiated. In a little while she got up, stumbled to the bathroom in the hall and puked up the last three shots of cheap tequila and I half-hoped that wouldn’t be the normal reaction every time I made love in the future!
We woke sometime later, dawn was creeping through the plants in the windowsill. A big jet shook the glass pane as the first morning flight slipped out of town over our heads. I kissed her awake and as she moved against me, I slowly sunk my hips into her and we made slow, passionate morning love our lips never parting until we had both shivered the day awake.
I felt like a million pound weight had been lifted from my shoulders. She was my 1st real sex. Of course, even before that night I was lost and in love with her but still, held a fading torch for Joni back in my hometown.
After that, I never heard from her again. In a week or two, I heard Rex had convinced her to move back in with him. I couldn't call her house. My ex-boss wouldn't allow me in the restaurant since I'd quit on him. So when the fall semester started up I walked into the book store and asked for her. "She's not working this semester but I just saw her heading down the the beer garden."
I looked around but didn't see her so I sat at a table and began writing in my journal. A few minutes later, I heard her voice nearby.
"Pierce," she was sitting directly across the table from me. Looking radiant but sad. "I'm moving up to San Luis after this semester to live with my grandma for awhile. Rex is nuts and I couldn't stay in town with you. He'd find us and make our lives miserable. I'm so sorry."
I didn't know what to say. My mouth felt glued shut. There was a knot in my chest and I felt sick to my stomach. She stood up and kissed me on the lips, put her hand on my cheek and turned away. "Jill...thank you." She turned, smiling sadly and then I watched her walk away for what seemed like hours.
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